Is there a line? What line is there...? Should this line be crossed...?
What am I talking about? Well....it's a funny thing. Is there a line in regards to friendships/relationships and a certain level of acceptance when it comes to beliefs and opinions? Bear with me here as I work out the process as I type, as it is a seemingly convoluted idea I'm trying to make concrete. And I give fair warning: The example I'm using is fictitious. If you choose to be offended - you simply choose to take it personally when it's not. Or if you think I'm talking about you or someone you know in particular, that would be an assumption on your part. Having said that - this is something I think we've all dealt with at one point or another.
OK....The example:
A group of friends. In this group is one person who has a firm view on, say, eating vegan.This person - let's call him Zak - dedicates his whole life to eating vegan and having a healthy lifestyle. Others in this group of friends understand his views and lifestyle but don't choose to follow the same path. Every chance Zak gets, he tries to impress the importance of being vegan to his friends. When his friends want to eat fast food, he's quick to point out how unhealthy fast food it. Or if his friends talk about a nice meal they cooked, he quickly dissects the ingredients pointing out what vegan products could have been substituted. Zak's friends understand where he is coming from, however the way that Zak presents his information tends to come off as aggressive, reproachful, perhaps even righteous. The: 'You need to listen to me because I'm RIGHT' scenario. It reaches a point where Zak's friends begin to feel resentful towards Zak or uncomfortable around him. Zak's friends, and people in general, feel like that have to be careful what they say around him - walking on eggshells, ever mindful not to stray onto a topic that will incite an unwanted 'sermon' of the art of being vegan by Zak. His friends, somewhat reluctantly, begin excluding him from activities that may bring forth unsolicited opinions from Zak.
I guess my questions are: If someone is your friend, you should respect their opinions/views, even if they don't match yours, right? And you should respect the fact that you and your friend may disagree on many things? That's life, right? While you can offer your view, is there some line that is crossed when it becomes a matter of:' It's my view and my view only'? How long do you tolerate some one forcing an opinion on you? Friend or not? If they don't respect your views and opinions, are they your friend? And if you truly are friends, then should there be any forcing of views on each other? Or should it be the tact of: Let's agree to disagree? But if you don't say anything - just let it slide, then is that an unspoken acceptance of it?
The main point is Zak has made a group of people feel uncomfortable, yet no one has said anything directly to Zak. They don't want offend him, hurt his feelings, etc., etc....But how can Zak understand if no one tells him? No one gives him the choice to change or even react to the situation. Are there unspoken boundaries/lines that just don't get crossed? At what cost?
What am I talking about? Well....it's a funny thing. Is there a line in regards to friendships/relationships and a certain level of acceptance when it comes to beliefs and opinions? Bear with me here as I work out the process as I type, as it is a seemingly convoluted idea I'm trying to make concrete. And I give fair warning: The example I'm using is fictitious. If you choose to be offended - you simply choose to take it personally when it's not. Or if you think I'm talking about you or someone you know in particular, that would be an assumption on your part. Having said that - this is something I think we've all dealt with at one point or another.
OK....The example:
A group of friends. In this group is one person who has a firm view on, say, eating vegan.This person - let's call him Zak - dedicates his whole life to eating vegan and having a healthy lifestyle. Others in this group of friends understand his views and lifestyle but don't choose to follow the same path. Every chance Zak gets, he tries to impress the importance of being vegan to his friends. When his friends want to eat fast food, he's quick to point out how unhealthy fast food it. Or if his friends talk about a nice meal they cooked, he quickly dissects the ingredients pointing out what vegan products could have been substituted. Zak's friends understand where he is coming from, however the way that Zak presents his information tends to come off as aggressive, reproachful, perhaps even righteous. The: 'You need to listen to me because I'm RIGHT' scenario. It reaches a point where Zak's friends begin to feel resentful towards Zak or uncomfortable around him. Zak's friends, and people in general, feel like that have to be careful what they say around him - walking on eggshells, ever mindful not to stray onto a topic that will incite an unwanted 'sermon' of the art of being vegan by Zak. His friends, somewhat reluctantly, begin excluding him from activities that may bring forth unsolicited opinions from Zak.
I guess my questions are: If someone is your friend, you should respect their opinions/views, even if they don't match yours, right? And you should respect the fact that you and your friend may disagree on many things? That's life, right? While you can offer your view, is there some line that is crossed when it becomes a matter of:' It's my view and my view only'? How long do you tolerate some one forcing an opinion on you? Friend or not? If they don't respect your views and opinions, are they your friend? And if you truly are friends, then should there be any forcing of views on each other? Or should it be the tact of: Let's agree to disagree? But if you don't say anything - just let it slide, then is that an unspoken acceptance of it?
The main point is Zak has made a group of people feel uncomfortable, yet no one has said anything directly to Zak. They don't want offend him, hurt his feelings, etc., etc....But how can Zak understand if no one tells him? No one gives him the choice to change or even react to the situation. Are there unspoken boundaries/lines that just don't get crossed? At what cost?
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