Childhood, faraway friends and the Bionic Man

Big house party just down the road. I can hear the reggae band pounding away...but I'm far enough down the road that it just drifts to me on the breeze, every now and then. It's an early Saturday night. Seems there's been sad news making the rounds lately. Started with Sarah Burke, Etta James and has ended, for now, with a tragedy somewhat closer to home. Brought to mind one of my favorite poems: Death Be Not Proud, by John Donne.

My birthday came and went on Tuesday. Was a great day. A quiet day spent with my dad and a seemingly endless stream of well wishes from good friends and family - world-wide. Went to lunch at Tequilas and then  tapped into our buried childhoods. Went to the Carousel for ice cream. Was wonderful. The lights, the music. I have to take my hat off to the eccentric millionaire for building that place so that people like me and my dad could  relive a childhood memory. Blew my mind in it's beauty. My dad was awe-struck by the whole thing - the ice cream, the setting, the beautiful carousel. Was something truly wonderful to see as his eyes grew cloudy with a far away childhood memory. Close your eyes and you're young again, and the world seems fresh...you feel invincible. To feel like that, for even a few brief moments, is an irreplaceable moment.

Been thinking of distant friends, both physically distant, and distant in other ways. Friends and family scattered around the world.I hope they all take a moment to glimpse back into childhood with a smile, a helpless chuckle at some long forgotten memory of times that were gilded with gold.

As the distance sound of reggae drifts through the house, I settle in for an early night. The breeze is tickling the trees outside, causing the leaves to dance in time to the reggae below. A few clouds scuttle across a mostly clear sky as the stars wink down. Will indulge my new kick for an old favorite: Lee Majors...LOL Do NOT ask. Something about an unresolved childhood crush. Still ongoing, apparently as I watch Big Valley nearly every night at midnight for my dose of Lee Majors in a cowboy persona. hahahaha So, I downloaded the Six Million Dollar Man TV series. Another fleeting glimpse of a childhood past. I was 4 when the series came out - 1974 - and I still remember sitting in front of the giant TV, on the floor that was covered with green shag carpeting. The sounds of my mother in the kitchen as the scent of a home-made marinara sauce drifted through the house. I would sit impatiently through the commercials and then sit as quiet as a mouse, mesmerized by the full color images of the bionic man on the screen. Geez...how can anything ever live up to the standards of a young girl's crush on a bionic man? :-D

Is There A Line....?

Is there a line? What line is there...? Should this line be crossed...?

What am I talking about? Well....it's a funny thing. Is there a line in regards to friendships/relationships and a certain level of acceptance when it comes to beliefs and opinions? Bear with me here as I work out the process as I type, as it is a seemingly convoluted idea I'm trying to make concrete. And I give fair warning: The example I'm using is fictitious. If you choose to be offended - you simply choose to take it personally when it's not. Or if you think I'm talking about you or someone you know in particular, that would be an assumption on your part. Having said that - this is something I think we've all dealt with at one point or another.

OK....The example:
A group of friends. In this group is one person who has a firm view on, say, eating vegan.This person - let's call him Zak - dedicates his whole life to eating vegan and having a healthy lifestyle. Others in this group of friends understand his views and lifestyle but don't choose to follow the same path. Every chance Zak gets, he tries to impress the importance of being vegan to his friends. When his friends want to eat fast food, he's quick to point out how unhealthy fast food it. Or if his friends talk about a nice meal they cooked, he quickly dissects the ingredients pointing out what vegan products could have been substituted. Zak's friends understand where he is coming from, however the way that Zak presents his information tends to come off as aggressive, reproachful, perhaps even righteous. The: 'You need to listen to me because I'm RIGHT' scenario. It reaches a point where Zak's friends begin to feel resentful towards Zak or uncomfortable around him. Zak's friends, and people in general, feel like that have to be careful what they say around him - walking on eggshells, ever mindful not to stray onto a topic that will incite an unwanted 'sermon' of the art of being vegan by Zak. His friends, somewhat reluctantly, begin excluding him from activities that may bring forth unsolicited opinions from Zak.

I guess my questions are: If someone is your friend, you should respect their opinions/views, even if they don't match yours, right? And you should respect the fact that you and your friend may disagree on many things? That's life, right? While you can offer your view, is there some line that is crossed when it becomes a matter of:' It's my view and my view only'? How long do you tolerate some one forcing an opinion on you? Friend or not? If they don't respect your views and opinions, are they your friend? And if you truly are friends, then should there be any forcing of views on each other? Or should it be the tact of: Let's agree to disagree? But if you don't say anything - just let it slide, then is that an unspoken acceptance of it?

The main point is Zak has made a group of people feel uncomfortable, yet no one has said anything directly to Zak. They don't want offend him, hurt his feelings, etc., etc....But how can Zak understand if no one tells him? No one gives him the choice to change or even react to the situation.  Are there unspoken boundaries/lines that just don't get crossed? At what cost?

Cigarette man

Looking out an open window....

The sun was slowly reaching it's apex in the sky. The carwash was a flurry of suds, water and the sounds of vehicles being pressure washed. The blasts of water created a varying range of tones as it pounded against different car parts. Somewhere the sounds of reggae drifted out of a small radio. The scent of window cleaner and wet pavement were carried in slight whiffs by the breeze as the attendants scrambled like overgrown ants around the line of vehicles. The breeze was being fussy, unable to decide a direction as it idly wound around cars, people and trees, as if trying to touch everything and be every where all at once.

A man sought refuge from the glaring sunshine under the gently swaying fronds of a coconut palm, unlit cigatette dangling from his lips. His greying hair was occassionaly caressed by the fickle breeze. It tussled his hair gently, drying the beads of sweat on his broad forehead. He turned his back to the breeze, shoulders hunched as he dug a lighter from the front pocket of his shirt and lit the still dangling cigarette. He drew a long breath and slowly let the smoke escpae his parted lips. He returned the lighter to the pocket of his short sleeved sport shirt colored in a variety of mottled browns and beige tones.He absently rubbed the palm of his hands up and down the thighs of his worn , sun bleached jeans as he gazed, unseeingly, at some distant point.

The swaying palm fronds cast mottled clusters of light along his mahogany coloured skin, dancing across his features, brow heavily creased with time, sunken cheeks and a slightly bulbous nose. His lips were thin and his chin and jaw line firm. The dappled sunshine cast a glint in eyes deeply set under bottle brush eyebrows the color of pewter. His gaze focused and surveyed his surroundings. He drew another long pull from the cigarette before tossing it to the ground and crushing it under the toe of his worn tennis shoe. He slowly ambled back to where a line of cars waited to be washed.

It's the New Year - Now what?

St Barth's 2O11 New Years - Photo courtesy of: http://www.prweb.com

Well....whadyaknow...it's 2O12.....and now what? Now come the resolutions.....

Everyone is reviewing their lists of resolutions - resigning themselves to give something up for the greater good...albeit reluctantly.

As I do ever holiday season- I question the renewed desire for change around the holidays only. Once again we need a special day to give us reason to change or be thankful or reach out and contact people that have drifted from our lives. It's a funny human trait. A 'human condition' per say. I'm not saying it's a trait that needs to be changed - I'm just pointing out that it may be slightly flawed. This time of year is often punctuated with sentiments such as: 'Remember the time...?' ; 'I should have...' ; 'Maybe next year...'; etc., etc.....

Everyday should be reason enough to take on a new hobby, learn a new trick or two, pick up a book that u've been wanting to read....It's easy enough to preach but not so easy to practice. :-D Hey - I'm JUST as guilty as anyone else. I'm not saying to toss aside any and all attempts at change - I may just be suggesting make plans with a grain of salt in the back of your mind and a readily available dose of humor to accompany any hardship encountered.

I managed to stop smoking - 2 months and counting - yet I didn't wait for the holidays to do it. lol Still - we'll see how long it lasts. It's not a resignation to failure - but perhaps just a small does of rational or reality. So many resolutions are doomed! Yet still, we plod onwards - ever hopeful for success...yet another human trait - DEFINITELY flawed, but also admirable. Many would argue the age old adage - The definition of insanity is is repeating the same action over and over again expecting a different result. Yet - we're ever game to try and try again, ever hopeful for a different result. So, this year I raise a toast to the Human Condition and 2O12.


Resolutions are popular because everyone feels they could use a little improvement.
Marilu Henner

Dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.
Helen Fielding