Living on the island of Sint Maarten/St. Martin, currently working in a
t-shirt shop, puts me in close proximity to visitors (tourists) on a nightly
basis. And on a nightly basis I'm amazed at the things tourists say and who
little they really know. There comments and questions are generally a great
source of amusement.
The little island I live on, Sint Maarten/St. Martin, is the smallest island in
the world divided by two countries: France and Holland. We have a French side
and a Dutch side. Many of us working in the hospitality trade on the island of
St. Maarten/St. Martin, myself included, have a daily ritual of gathering at
our local watering holes to compare our work days. A very common topic,
naturally, is the tourists we meet. Many of us have met people visiting from
other countries and have struck up long lasting friendships. We all have that
certain person, or group of people that come year after year. These are people
that love to have a good time, are pleasant and generally know quite a lot
about this island. Then there are those visitors that are the complete
opposite.
I'm constantly amazed at the people who know absolutely NOTHING about the
country they are visiting. Some can't even find it on a map! The general theme
seems to be a lack of common sense and general ignorance. Now, some people show
an eagerness to learn. I've had people spend a good 45 minutes in the shop with
me, asking me every conceivable question they can think of regarding the
island. Everything from food prices to government. I enjoy these conversations
quite a lot. I had one couple return several times during their stay to ask for
advice about where to go what to see. I like helping them out, making their
time a great one, so that they'll come back & tell others to come here.
It's just good business. Besides, I love a good conversation. Again, not all
visitors are like this. My friends and myself have traded stories about some of
the ridiculous things we've had visitors say. I've made a small list. Keep in
mind, these are tourists from all over the world, not any one particular
country.
Recently I had a couple come into the shop that elevated my blood pressure to
unsafe levels. The wife aimlessly wander the shop, drifting from one clothing
rack to the next. The husband was admiring the Harley Davidson motorcycles on
display and mentioned how local people were insane in the way they drove
motorcycles on the island. I smiled and explained that driving laws were not
heavily enforced on the island. His wife, a few degrees shy of sober, quickly
piped up, 'It's not like that in the States.'
I smiled and nodded politely at her. Her husband continued asking questions
about the island, having an honest interest in the topic. Every answer I gave
him regarding how things worked on the island, his wife would pipe up, 'It’s
not like that in the States.' After the third time, I pinned her with a glare,
forced a smile and said, 'Well, it’s a good thing we aren’t in the States.' She
promptly snapped her mouth closed. Her husband half winced, half smiled. He
seemed rather embarrassed by his wife. I conversed with the man for about
another 10 minutes. At the end, he asked one final question regarding drinking
while less than sober. After I explained that driving when less than sober was
also not too strongly enforced, his wife piped up snidely, 'I guess it’s like
that ‘cause we’re not in the State.' I beamed at her and said, 'Exactly!'
When I worked on the cruise ship pier, one scenario played itself out over
& over again with very little variation. At least five times a day I would
be approached by different travelers, all with the same problem. They would be
frantically waving their cell phones in the air like a pigeon with a broken
wing. They would make their way over to my small booth and wave said cell phone
dangerously close to my face and squawk, 'Maybe YOU can help me. I just don’t
understand it. My phone provider assured me I would get coverage in any and all
U.S. territories. But look! I have no service here! Why is that?' I would
gently explain that perhaps the reason for lack of signal was due to the fact
that we were not in the United States nor in a U.S. Territory. This information
was usually met with a confused frown, a full minute of silence followed by a
sheepish grin.
One year, in the weeks prior to Heineken Regatta, a World Class Sailing Event
on the island, I had a question from a tourist that I just could not answer,
having been rendered speechless. The gentleman had come in to have a quick bite
to eat and a beer. He sat himself at my bar and we proceeded into the usual
chit-chat: weather, traffic, bridge openings. He asked if I would be attending
the Regatta. I smiled and said no stating I wasn’t a big fan of large crowds. I
smiled and said, 'I swear, there are so many people on this island you can feel
the island swaying under all the weight.' The man promptly put his beer down
and looked at me in all seriousness and replied, 'Does it really sway?'
I’ve hear such stories from other people that just make me shake my head while
laughing. Here are a couple I’ve had my friends tell me:
'Hey, can I ask you something? That island over there - Saba, right? Is it
always there?'
'Is the French side on the same island as the Dutch side?'
'I didn’t know black people could speak French!'
'I’m surprised there’s crime here. It’s an island.'
'Is it safe to go out on a boat tour? I wouldn’t want to run into any pirates.
They have pirates in Somalia.'
'My wife & I would like to book Scuba diving lessons. Does it matter that I
can’t swim?'
And the kicker:
While out on a tour boat to Tintimare:
Tourist (to boat Captain): Could you drop me off in the water here?(Grand Case)
I’d like to swim under the island and meet up with you on the other side.
(Tintimare Island) This being said as the woman pulled on her fins, mask &
snorkel.
