Not everyone who spends time in bars understands the simple principals
of bar behavior. As a rule of thumb, for the customer, the difference from
being treated as a chump and being treated with respect is measured equal in
proportion to the manners you give to those who serve the drinks. There's a simple equation: a
happy bartender will, in turn, make you happy. It's bar karma. Proper bar
etiquette is a large part of the beautiful dance that we call getting drunk.
The following is a pretty simple
and straightforward list of bar dos and don'ts. If you want to keep your local
bartender happy, it’s highly recommended that you follow it. Keep in mind, a
happy bartender is likely to serve you faster, back you up quicker, and slide
you that free drink earlier and more often. That way, everybody's happy. And it
all starts with getting your bartender's attention.
Let's say that you and a couple
of your friends are out at your favorite bar. The place is wall-to-wall people,
and you're dying for a drink. How do you get the barkeep to come over and give
you that drink? Well, one thing you shouldn’t do is pull out a twenty and wave
it at him. Most barkeeps find this insulting. You are not the only one at the
bar with money. They can always tell who's waiting to order a drink, and if the
bartender seems to be ignoring you, he's probably just busy taking care of
somebody who was there before you. But, for argument sake, let’s say your
barkeep just doesn't notice you. It's perfectly all right to give a wave or a
nod. Most bartenders will respond to "excuse me," or "pardon me,
bartender/barkeep.” Never snap your
fingers at a bartender, unless you want to keep snapping them for the next
twenty minutes while you wait for a drink. And I have yet to talk to a
bartender who happily serves a customer who calls them "hey, you!"
Now it's time to order your
drinks. Do yourselves a favor, and the bartender, and know what you want before
you call the bartender over. In a crowded bar, every second he spends standing
there waiting for you to decide between a vodka red bull and a vodka cranberry
is time the bartender could be taking care of the hundred other people who are
waiting for drinks. Know what you want and select ONE PERSON to be your
spokesperson and order all your drinks at one time. When you order all together, the bartender can
make all your drinks at once, and avoid making four separate trips and avoid a
raise in their blood pressure. After all, you’re at a bar, you’re there to
drink. So know what the heck you want! Also: Bartenders don't know how to make every drink in existence.
There are millions of drink recipes out there
and some drinks have different ingredients and share the same name. Don't
expect every bartender to make a Mai Tai like the one you had in Hawaii. If your
favorite drink is uncommon, know the ingredients and your bartender will take
it from there.
Likewise, you should pay all
together as well, so the barman only has to bring you your change once, instead
taking the money for one drink, going to the register, making change, then
coming right back to where he just was, four times in a row. Ordering drinks
this way is, clearly, four times slower. And don't forget to have the money
ready by the time the barkeep arrives with the drinks. In a bar, faster is always
better. And please, please, PLEASE don’t hand your bartender a handful of
crumpled bills and expect to get any great service for the rest of the evening.
Nothing slows a bartender down more than having to waste time straightening out
crumpled, sorry looking bills. And it’s just really disrespectful. Your change
is returned to you in a quick and timely fashion and not wadded up like used
tissue paper.
As far as tipping, it’s just
really easy to just keep it simple. Tip every time, and tip something for every
drink. Remember, bartenders only make about $3.00 an hour. Like waiters, the
rest of their money comes from your tips. And not tipping is of course the best
way to insure that everyone else in the bar gets served again before you do.
Let's say that you've been at the
bar for a couple of hours and have ordered a few rounds. This does not
automatically entitle you to a free drink--a bartender doesn't have to give you
a free drink if he doesn't want to, even if he’s your friend. So don’t expect
it and don’t feel like you’re entitled to it. One of the biggest mistakes
people tend to make is going to a bar where their good friend works, expecting
free drinks. They tend to forget that this is a job and the bartender can’t
always just give away drinks to their friends all night long. Never assume that
you're getting a free drink; always at least offer the money. And
PLEASE: If YOU order a round of shots, YOU pay. "Do you
want to do a shot?" is an invitation to buy a shot for someone, not an
invitation for someone to buy one for him or herself. And this can't be stressed
enough: don't forget to tip on a free drink. If you don't tip on your free
drink, you're not giving the barkeep a reason to give you another one.
And last, but certainly not
least, if you absolutely must make or take a call, step away from the bar and
head to the restroom area, or outside. These are the only appropriate place to
carry on a conversation. Nobody wants to hear your personal business, hear
about your latest love interest or be a part of your break-up call. And when
you're on the phone next to them, trying to shout above the music, they can't
help but listen and start to get annoyed, including the bartender.
That about covers it for the
basics of bar etiquette. You follow these guidelines, you'll guarantee yourself
a bartender that is happy to see you, serves you quick, and gets you drunk
fast. And let's face it, being able to zip past the hundred other losers in the
bar and get served first is cool. As always – remember to party responsibly!
